Hated
by KagerouJo
Summary: Because eventually the letters would be replaced and every code would have its successor.


**_This focuses on the thoughts of the second B towards his feelings towards Beyond Birthday and the World's Greatest detective, which later branches out to a narrative about the subjects in questions feelings as well. 3026 words without the author's note._**

_**L and B centric**_

* * *

I hated him.

I don't care if he is the World's Greatest Detective, that he cracked countless cases, or that he solved mysteries left and right, or even the fact that he flat out saved my life. No. What I knew right now was that hated him. Simple as that.

But, I imagine you do not even know what I am talking about. Anyone familiar with the title 'World's Greatest Detective' can identify who I am talking about at the moment. Yes. L. And as for me, I am B. No, not the B you are thinking of. I am not him, I am not Beyond Birthday, I am not the man behind the LABB murder cases, the boy who lost his best friend to paranoia and the genius who nearly succeeded in trumping L. No, of course not. B is gone, and that is the exact reason why I hate L.

Because he was the reason of the breakdown that happened to my predecessor.

That's right. I am the second B. Successor to the title of 'B' in the Wammy's House. But in no way can I actually compare myself to the original B. Heck, I'm not even worthy to be within a mile of his presence, that is just how much I respect him. And by respect, I mean as human as possible, I do not intend to break out of Wammy's and cause another series of murders. Because I believe I am incapable of pulling that off, despite the urge to break the necks of those who irritate me. But, back to my point; I hate L.

Why, you ask? I've already told you the reason, haven't I? But allow me to elaborate. Beyond Birthday was the second child brought to the Wammy's House ― the first being A, who would be one of B's bestfriends later on ― and was cunning and devious, he had, for some unknown reason, been cursed to live with the Shinigami Eyes for as long as he could possibly remember, his father was beaten and his mother died in a freak accident, and he came to the orphanage to become one of L's potential successors, to become 'Justice'. All of which you've probably already known.

A was slightly older than B, according to what I have been informed, he had blond hair, blue eyes and had a fairly social personality, but would withdraw from everyone whenever he could. He and B would constantly switch between the rankings, and it was friendly competition between them. For the first few years in his life in the orphanage, he lived with B and L.

Another question running through your mind would be why I am telling you all this. L, A and B were friends. Best Friends to be exact. A and B were the first children in the orphanage given the task to succeed L, and they arrived in the orphanage quite some time after Watari discovered L's abilities. They saw him win the Junior Tennis Championships. They saw him as he dutifully prepared detail after detail of information in front of his computer. They were there when L contacted the police and gave them the information regarding the mystery and he cracked his first case; The Winchester Mad Bombings. They were there on his birthdays. They were friends. They were brothers.

Until A jumped.

I will be vague about the details of A's predicament. But, A jumped. And he died. Just like that. And L and B's worlds were shattered, broken, crushed to blasted microscopic pieces smaller than the atom itself.

L's job required him to have as much of a hand on his emotions as possible. He knew that if he showed the slightest weakness, the enemy would use it against him and it would lead to his impending doom. He showed the vaguest detail on what he was feeling. He mastered the art of concealing his feelings, and even his disheveled appearance made almost everyone turn away from him. But, L was human. That's what we should all remember.

Everyone cries. Everyone feels pains. Everyone feels emotions. And sometimes, some people just break down when they can't handle putting up the facade anymore. Sometimes, the happiest people are the people with the most troubles to bear. It's basically a human's defense mechanism. When somebody lunges at you with a knife, you instinctively cover yourself in order to shield yourself from pain (on the exception of masochists, of course). Likewise, when your problems are hurting you a thousand times harder than what a single stab in the gut could do, you smile. Because you hope people won't worry, because you hope that even for a moment, your smile can cause you to be even slightly happy, because in your head you can pretend that all your problems aren't true, and that it's all just your imagination. That's why, sometimes those who smile the most take in more crap than all the others.

How many times had L wanted to throw up when he saw the photos of brutal murders he had to solve? How many times had he shuddered in fear at what people were capable of? How many times had he have to tell a family that they had lost a loved one all because he was too slow in catching a murderer, watched them break down and inwardly wished that he could just smash his facade onto the ground and break down crying himself? So when A died, L felt broken, abandoned, shattered. And then anger. Anger at why A had chosen the other way out of this situation instead of facing the world like he did, to the point of him almost being insane. And then, guilt. Guilt because it was practically his fault that A ended his life. Because if he never had interfered with A's life ― with his potential successors' lives ― then none of the misery Wammy's has now would ever have been bestowed here in the first place, A wouldn't have died, and B wouldn't have gotten insane.

Then fury came crashing down. He wasn't angry anymore; he was wrathful, furious, livid! At himself no less. For causing such a thing, a tragedy, a chink in Beyond's life, he had thought he deserved to died. How many times do you think he tried to slit his own throat open after that? Nevertheless, L couldn't show how he was feeling. Not towards the children in the orphanage, not towards Watari and most especially not to B. It broke him even more than he already was to put an emotionless facade in front of his best friend, if him getting broken even more was even possible.

B yelled, screamed, cried and roared in anguish, and L wanted to do nothing more than console him, tell him he was sorry and that he wouldn't actually mind slitting his own throat open to get what he deserved, tell him how he actually felt about it and maybe even kick some sense into his pale, tear-streaked face. But he couldn't.

_"How could you?! After all that we've all been through, you just_―_wait..." An insane laughter followed, "I get it. You just don't care, do you,_L?_"_

_"..."_

_"Of course. How could I expect more from you? You, who has been taught that concealing one's emotions is best in order that your opponents will not know what your weakness is. All of that. All of_this, _has been nothing but a facade, hasn't it? You were playing us, weren't you?"_

_"..."_

_**No, B, I wasn't. You were both my friends...**_

_"I don't care if it was a scene for checking on which of us was fit to be your successor, L. I am sick of this! I am sick of this cursed institution! I am sick of YOU!"_

_"..."_

_**B, please. I've lost A and it hurt, please don't make me lose you too.**_

_"Well, I hope you're happy L! A is dead! He's DEAD, L! DEAD! And all because of YOU! You and this school have been putting too much pressure on him! Expecting him to be perfect, intelligent, molded and shaped into the perfect alternative for the original. And look where it got him, L. LOOK. You have eyes, don't you? You, the very one who solves mysteries, wars, attacks, robberies, rapes, MURDERS, are yourself a MURDERER"_

_"..."_

_**B?**_

_"I don't think that was suicide, L."_

_"..."_

_**B, please...I can't say this out loud, but please...please forgive me**_

_"It was murder..." _

_Footsteps. Walking away to be exact. B's footsteps. L looked up from his curled up position to call out to the boy._

_"B!"_

_He turned. And silence._

_If Beyond Birthday hadn't run off a few minutes later, he probably could have heard the faint "I'm sorry" L mumbled._

People spiral into depression when they lose someone. But, on some cases, they plummet down into insanity. This is what happened to my predecessor, but I don't think it was simply because of one of his best friend's death. I believe it was also because his only friend left _simply didn't care_. Or so he thought, anyway.

B was never the type to show emotions. Not after his father and mother had both died. B was quite the lovely child until he lost what was important to him, his parents, and his identity, because he had only been addressed to as B or Backup, just like A was Alternative. He had seen A's numbers, and he knew what would happen. But what broke him most was the fact that L looked like he didn't care. This was HOME for heaven's sake, why couldn't he just drop his mask and cry beside B? He wold understand, Watari would understand. So...why?

B didn't do much after his outburst. L had once more taken off from Wammy's to go with Watari to take on another case in a neighboring continent, and B didn't care anymore. He hated L now. Beyond refused to do anything rather than huddle in the corner of his room, silently letting tears run down his face while he held his knees close to his chest like the child that he was. He refused to go to the dining hall to eat, he didn't bath, he didn't sleep. And by the end of the week he looked like the living dead. Afterwards, he snapped, took what belonged to him and ran away.

Because it didn't feel like home anymore. He had felt abandoned once again; abandoned by A, abandoned by L and abandoned by Wammy's. He didn't act on the murders right away. He found some time to settle himself into a flat, and get a job to support himself. Recklessness wasn't getting him anywhere soon, not if her wanted revenge. B did his job excellently, was quiet and didn't have friends in his workplace. After work, he would just go straight to his flat. On weekends, he would go out for groceries. And it was on times like this that fate would shift and B had to meet someone...

...who was the spitting image of A himself

Once glance above her head and he saw that she had the same last name as A did. And yes, the person is a girl. She was A's twin sister, who had been adopted when A and her were in a different orphanage before A was picked out for the Wammy's. I've also come into contact with this girl for quite some time now, which is why I have access to this information and A's as well. Short blonde hair, pale skin and blue eyes, exactly like her brother. She was B's first friend in the outside world ever since he left Wammy's. At first their relationship was strained, since he didn't want a wave of emotions to overwhelm him just because every moment he spotted her golden hair he was _always reminded of A, screw it._But, slowly, like A and he had been, they became best friends. He only knew that she had a twin brother, they got separated, and that she hopes to meet him again one day. Oh, and that she wants to be a journalist when she's finished studying. She was also intelligent like her brother (well, they were twins), he observed. As for her, she knew that his name was Rue Ryuuzaki, he was quiet, intelligent, loved strawberry jam and people didn't like going near him because of his red eyes. She didn't press further.

And it would have stayed that way if he wasn't constantly reminded to serve A's vengeance. He couldn't forget. How could he? When the very thing that reminded him of A was before his very eyes, smiling and ―_darn it _― oblivious to the fact that her brother had jumped from a clock tower several stories up and died almost two years ago. So, on Christmas Eve, before the stroke of midnight, he decided to tell her the truth, because she deserved to. That he knew her brother, that were successors of the famous one-letter coded detective she must have already heard of because she wanted to be a journalist someday and that her brother was A and he was B. She broke down crying, but she didn't wail or scream like he did. She was crying_silently,_like A used to do when they were kids. She did not cry on his shoulder because she was stronger than that; just like A used to cry on his own before wiping his tears away and flashing a grin at B. She merely clenched her fists and said she'd like to visit Wammy's one day and see what the heck was wrong with the facility to use kids as guinea pigs to see if they can clone a legendary detective just because they picked out genii. Just like A probably would do.

He didn't formally say goodbye to her either. The next morning, he simply left a note at her doorstep that he had resigned and moved to somewhere far away because he had something important to take care of and that she'll probably hear of him soon because she was going to be a journalist. She didn't know he was going to L.A, nor that her best friend was going to be serial killer to challenge his predecessor. All she did was sob herself to sleep when she heard on January 21, 2004 that he died of a mysterious heart attack in prison.

And around a few months time after Beyond's capture, the second A and I were brought in. A was picked from another orphanage, I was picked from a case that L had solved. Truth be told, I would've been dead right now had it not been for L. What bewildered me first was that I and A were given special attention by L when we were brought to the Wammy's. He showed us his face, gave us the old rooms of A and B, which have been left untouched since both parties had gone from the house, and picked out our names. He decided on A's quickly, and left me with only 'B' for the moment as he was trying to decide. Why? All because we freaking looked like his former best friends. The second A resemble the first uncannily, short blonde hair and blue eyes, only he wasn't that social and had a really good sense of hearing. I, on the other hand, didn't resemble my predecessor like A did. I had a slight color on my skin, not that dark though, had black hair that was kept down instead of blazing up like L did (from what I've heard, I assume B's hair resembles L's) and had blue eyes. He still kept treating us like we were fragile, exclusive-only, once-in-a-lifetime find dolls that would break at the slightest touch. I didn't mind though, I respected L that time. I wanted to thank him. My heart leapt with joy when I first met him face to face.

Until I heard the story of the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases, and my admiration boiled down to complete and utter hatred. I have absolutely no idea when it happened, it just did. I resented seeing L since then, not that it often happened, I only saw him at like, twice a year, until the Kira case, of course, he never visited during that case. I hated the mention of his name, I hated the fact that I was signed up as a potential take over for his work. I didn't like talking to people in the orphanage, even Roger. The only contacts I had were probably A and Near, and when the first A's twin sister, who had become a journalist, came by to make a scoop on the facility, we made contact and I was quickly intrigued that she was the first A's twin sister and had made contact with B. I saw her heart break when she saw me and A, for obvious reasons.

But I didn't understand how she couldn't hate L. L was the reason her brother died, and when she cried when she received the news of B's death on January she still didn't hate him. She didn't blame me when I said I hated L, though. Everyone has her own reasons she said. But I guess I slowly understood when I felt my own world shatter when Near came out of Roger's office, found me sitting on the stairs and said two words that I never expected to hear.

"_L's Dead"_

It was also around this point that L had known about the existence of Shinigami eyes and quickly associated it with Beyond's ability and finally chose my name. Blind. What kind of code was that? Because I couldn't see the world the way BB did, was that it? Nevertheless, I was finally given a name.

Now, if you remember what I said at the start, I said I hated L. That's right, I hated L.

_Hated._

Because I found myself breaking down in anguish when he died.


End file.
